It’s not about the goals. It’s about WHO you are – How defining who you are will help you get what you need.

My goal is to be who I am and walk my talk. It’s my attitude for life.

Goals are really useful. They give us something to work towards so that we can focus and make changes and practice new actions, attitudes and approaches.

What I’ve realised recently is that it’s more powerful and effective to focus on who we are, or who we want to be.

Let me share an example.

A few weeks ago I had my scan and there was an inconclusive area showing up that has required me to have a further check up scan that will then lead to conversations around whether this is something to be concerned about or not.

My goal has been to get to this next scan in the best mental, physical, emotional and spiritual (particularly this one for me) state that I can. Essentially be as strong as I can so that no matter what happens, I’m in the best possible position to be able to deal with the outcome of this next scan.

Whilst I’m still doing all this, I’ve realised that to a certain extent this next scan and the results are academic. I am who I am. I’m proud of who I am. I know and believe what I know and believe and this is how I want to lead my life, now, next month, next year and next decade and beyond.

Reading the book Atomic Habits James Clear has got me thinking about my motivation, my why and my who.

He uses the example of losing weight as a goal and encourages readers to think about the who instead of the material goal of weight loss. So the goal is then linked to who you are i.e I am healthy and someone who sees the value in feeding my body with the best food possible. This can then help habit choices. Does eating this help me be who I am or want to be? A simple yes or know.

So make time to ask yourself this “who am I and how do I want to be showing up each day?”

I am someone who believes in the power of the mind and our amazing bodies and I’m on this planet to prove that we can heal our bodies when we create the right conditions, even when we are given an “incurable” diagnosis.

To caveat that last point, I don’t think anything is curable, but I do think we can heal from anything.

To me, and this is just my personal opinion, a cure implies that the medicine does all the work and we do nothing.

Where as, healing is a partnership and a process between the person and whatever medicine they choose, whether that be breathwork, diet, chemotherapy, cold exposure, antihistamines, fasting, red light therapy, improving your sleep hygiene etc…..

Healing is more empowering.

As you finish reading this, I’d encourage you to think about your goals and aspirations and link them to who you are, or who you want to be and how that person would show up.

With that in mind,  I have 3 recommendations to help you move forwards with happiness, health and strength:

1. #1: Take 30 mins to sit down with a pen and paper (or your tech tools) and define who you are, what your values are and why you do what you do, the way you do. Clarity on your WHO and WHY will help you improve your decision making, set your boundaries and prioritise yourself and what you give energy to.
2. #2: Buy the book Atomic Habits by James Clear – it’s practical, insightful, easy to read and a great starting place to move you forwards.
3. #3: Do as Oscar Wilde said; “be yourself, everyone else is taken”

My intention is that this article gives you a better understanding of how you can get more connection to your goals that will ultimately lead to better outcomes.

I run a workshop on boundaries change and difficult conversations that tackles this very subject. Change is hard. Setting boundaries (and saying “no”) can be hard. Difficult conversations are….difficult! But it doesn’t have to be that way. We are all capable of change.

A change of energy will lead to a change of outcomes. If you’d like to learn more about my workshops and one2one support I offer then drop me a note and we can chat and see if there’s alignment.

I am here to help you and your teams become happier, healthier and stronger.

I hope this has been useful, let me know whether it is, I am open to feedback…it will make me more stronger!

All the love and all the power

Damon

xx